Home » Poetry » BREAKING FAKE NEWS 05252018


Chicago, IL – “No Parking” notice posted on North Western Avenue in Chicago.Poetic, in a science fiction kind of way, but confusing… So, when can you park here? (photo by Keith M. Kelley).

By Jon E. Ahnduhspot

Chicago, IL – A westside block erupted today with a protest over a parking notice. The enraged drivers were basicly told, “No parking from the day after tomorrow- to tomorrow” thanks to a “no parking” notice posted on the busy arterial street. It appeared that the handwritten dates had been incorrectly written in reverse order.

Drivers would literally have to go back in time to illegally park! It was literally a retroactive enforcement of a violation that didn’t exist at the time of the alleged violation. Well, evidently this was the tipping point for the small group of protesters that congregated around the lamppost that held the mismarked notice.

“People be tired of all these petty-ass fines!” shouted a female protester in a black bonnet carrying a makeshift sign that stated, “Time Travel is NOT a crime!”

“The city do too much. We fed up!” a young male protestor added. His “protest sign” must have been the plastic cup he carried. The young man festively danced to the rhythmic chants of the protesters.

At times with all the chanting, percussion and people dancing in the streets, the protest took on a party atmosphere. Chicago Police that responded to numerous reports of the raucous crowd disrupting rush hour traffic were able to disperse the protesters shortly after the officers pointed out that the other four poles on that block had been properly marked.

City Water Management Department officials apologized for any confusion this may have caused drivers. They also offered an apology for any future mistakes by the department. The mayor’s office has not commented.

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