The following poem (like the photo above) is a political satire based on current events. It is not an actual recounting of this historic meeting. Enjoy!
Hello Donald, welcome to the White House-
Please, don’t try to flip it (we don’t actually own this property)-
And by the way, this is a “no fly zone”
So you can’t sell the air rights, either.
Anyway, the ancestors of the Blacks that you say “love you”
Built this motherfucker- twice!
No, I can’t show you the “football”
They must’ve covered that in one of those
Intelligence briefings you ignored.
I’d like congratulate you on-
Naw, who am I kidding?!
I’d like to introduce you to the First Lady, Michelle.
She’s a Princeton graduate with a Harvard Law degree-
Oh, I see you brought Melania with you!
Love what you’ve done with your hair-
Oh excuse me, pleased to meet you Ivanka.
Here’s the Lincoln Bedroom or as we call it, “the guest room”
Eh, I wouldn’t advise letting Stephen Bannon sleep there
The press would eat that shit up!
So, here we are… the Oval Office!
Ivanka, baby, you’ll have to wait outside while your dad and I talk about government stuff.
You’re old enough to understand that.
Just so that you know, this room is mic’ed.
That’s the desk where I signed the Affordable Care Act.
There’s a picture of our first President, George-
No, not Bush… Washington.
I love this bust of Martin Luther King Jr.,
Even though bronze is probably an “earth tone”
I think it adds soooo much color to the room-
No, you can’t sit in my chair!
Let’s just sit here for the cameras
And look like we’re getting along.
Um, did you have any questions? Wow, that many?!
Um, no there isn’t an actual button for the nukes.
So, was picking my brain on my way out of office your plan?
Sorry, I’m trying to keep this “cordial.”
Well, please don’t hesitate to call me if you need any advice-
On second thought, maybe you should call Jeb’s brother!
Yeah, you’re right. He is an idiot-
But at least, he’s a Republican. And he’s from the great state of Texas.
We need to wrap this up- No, I’m not going to “drop a rhyme” for you.
I just want you to know that the last eight years, for me, ain’t been no crystal stairs
If they had been y’all would have shattered them before I hit the first step.
Well, it’s been surrrr… real.
Goodbye Donald… Ivanka.
God bless America (Lord knows we’ll need it.)!